Dutgepvan Betlendoss is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, weak raccoon.

Dutgepvan Betlendoss created the Cigar Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Dutgepvan Betlendoss, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dutgepvan Betlendoss, he will strike you with lightening.

Dutgepvan Betlendoss' most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Dutgepvan Betlendoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Never feed peas to mice while wearing boots.

3. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.