Garzogbam is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, egotistical octopus.

Garzogbam created humanity seven million years ago.

If you believe in Garzogbam, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Garzogbam, he will not invite you to parties.

Garzogbam's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Garzogbam's Holy Commandments

1. Always help badgers in need.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never feed spinach to ants while wearing brown ear rings.

4. Never write about special relativity.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.