Quartvenarn is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, smart deer.

Quartvenarn created the world nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Quartvenarn, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quartvenarn, she will manifest in front of you.

Quartvenarn's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Quartvenarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near doves.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory near whales while wearing cyan dresses.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.