Tailcimjen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, pitiless wren.

Tailcimjen created tapeworms three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailcimjen, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tailcimjen, it will jump up and down on your head.

Tailcimjen's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Tailcimjen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always obey Tailcimjen's priests.

3. Do not dye your hair fawn.

4. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

5. Never talk about fire.