Mabhigmet is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, calm fish.

Mabhigmet created snails four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mabhigmet, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Mabhigmet, he will refuse to believe in you.

Mabhigmet's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Mabhigmet's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never leap in holy places.

3. Do not shave your feet.

4. Hide if five tapirs approach from the west.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity.