Logkimjig is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, dishonest swallow.

Logkimjig created Europe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Logkimjig, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Logkimjig, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Logkimjig's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Logkimjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face turquoise.

2. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

3. Logkimjig loves turtles, so they must be respected.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

5. Do not eat strawberries.