Betnarlfen is a god.
He takes the form of a fat, witless
elephant.
Betnarlfen created the planet Mars eight million years ago.
If you believe in
Betnarlfen, he will look favourably on your prayers.
If you do not believe in
Betnarlfen, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.
Betnarlfen's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.
Betnarlfen's Holy Commandments1. Do not take Betnarlfen's name in vain.
2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.
3. Erect nine titanium sculptures of Betnarlfen on top of important buildings.
4. Do not drink alcohol.
5. Do not chop down trees.