Yamgep is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, amazing penguin.

Yamgep created viruses three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yamgep, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yamgep, it will try to impress you with trees.

Yamgep's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Yamgep's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Hide from magenta hamsters for they are unholy.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Worship no other gods but Yamgep.

5. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.