Quimbassdut Fomloopmit is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, quiet cow.

Quimbassdut Fomloopmit created a charm quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quimbassdut Fomloopmit, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Quimbassdut Fomloopmit, he will not invite you to parties.

Quimbassdut Fomloopmit's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Quimbassdut Fomloopmit's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never hurt swans.

5. Feed all hungry aardvarks.