Natbembetsag is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, idiotic grasshopper.

Natbembetsag created a down quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Natbembetsag, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Natbembetsag, it will turn you into a rock.

Natbembetsag's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Natbembetsag's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant black sculpture of Natbembetsag in the centre of the settlement.

2. Feed all hungry snails.

3. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.