Rawtifbop is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, witless gorilla.

Rawtifbop created time and space three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rawtifbop, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Rawtifbop, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Rawtifbop's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Rawtifbop's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Rawtifbop.

2. Erect a large silver sculpture of Rawtifbop on top of all buildings.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never talk about dark matter near geese while wearing violet shoes and balancing four nickel spheres on your face.

5. Learn six new languages a year.