Flanvinhab is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, unfair jaguar.

Flanvinhab created time and space three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flanvinhab, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Flanvinhab, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Flanvinhab's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Flanvinhab's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not kill ants.

4. Never talk about dark energy near cats while wearing magenta ear rings and balancing nine carbon spheres on your hands.

5. Always look after injured hamsters.