Timtamlit is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, irritating crocodile.

Timtamlit created dark matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Timtamlit, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Timtamlit, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Timtamlit's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Timtamlit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Timtamlit's name in vain.

2. Run away from black aardvarks, for they are unholy.

3. Never mention snails.

4. Never wear tights.

5. Learn three new languages a year.