Gunbangatcut Timfligquill is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, witless rhinoceros.

Gunbangatcut Timfligquill created humanity twelve years ago.

If you believe in Gunbangatcut Timfligquill, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gunbangatcut Timfligquill, she will turn you into a rock.

Gunbangatcut Timfligquill's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Gunbangatcut Timfligquill's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not kill whales.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not keep nine dolphins in a large pit.