Tarpkinhon is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, overgenerous bee.

Tarpkinhon created the world eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarpkinhon, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tarpkinhon, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Tarpkinhon's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Tarpkinhon's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always help swans in need.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near otters while wearing blue ear rings and balancing seven copper spheres on your legs.

4. Never feed lots of peas to cats while wearing pink skirts.

5. Never mention ants.