Parkdumfoss Zanhogmif is a god.
He takes the form of a very heavy, merciless
hamster.
Parkdumfoss Zanhogmif created Asia six million years ago.
If you believe in
Parkdumfoss Zanhogmif, he will visit you to thank you.
If you do not believe in
Parkdumfoss Zanhogmif, he will turn you into a mouse.
Parkdumfoss Zanhogmif's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.
Parkdumfoss Zanhogmif's Holy Commandments1. Do not take Parkdumfoss Zanhogmif's name in vain.
2. Respect your elders.
3. Worship no other gods but Parkdumfoss Zanhogmif.
4. Never eat bark.
5. Never run in the presence of pigs.