Parkdumfoss Zanhogmif is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, merciless hamster.

Parkdumfoss Zanhogmif created Asia six million years ago.

If you believe in Parkdumfoss Zanhogmif, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Parkdumfoss Zanhogmif, he will turn you into a mouse.

Parkdumfoss Zanhogmif's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Parkdumfoss Zanhogmif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Parkdumfoss Zanhogmif's name in vain.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Worship no other gods but Parkdumfoss Zanhogmif.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never run in the presence of pigs.