Flywatdim Yogkompod is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, witless cat.

Flywatdim Yogkompod created parasitic wasps eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Flywatdim Yogkompod, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Flywatdim Yogkompod, he will have a low opinion of you.

Flywatdim Yogkompod's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Flywatdim Yogkompod's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never talk about optics near goats while wearing magenta scarves and balancing six nickel spheres on your feet.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never think about galaxies.