Fedqueegbabhom is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, pitiless walrus.

Fedqueegbabhom created humankind four million years ago.

If you believe in Fedqueegbabhom, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fedqueegbabhom, she will turn you into a dog.

Fedqueegbabhom's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Fedqueegbabhom's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Fedqueegbabhom.

2. Always help sick voles.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Fedqueegbabhom loves otters, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not speak about rice.