Rigminbest is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, overgenerous rhinoceros.

Rigminbest created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Rigminbest, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Rigminbest, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Rigminbest's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Rigminbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near nematodes while wearing gray ear rings and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your face.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not dye your hair brown.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always take life seriously.