Vagyokgess is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, self-assured tortoise.

Vagyokgess created gold seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagyokgess, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Vagyokgess, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Vagyokgess' most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Vagyokgess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Worship no other gods but Vagyokgess.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.