Stanlibtail is a god.

It takes the form of a large, emotional clam.

Stanlibtail created the Cigar Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stanlibtail, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Stanlibtail, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Stanlibtail's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Stanlibtail's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force near horses while wearing fawn shorts and balancing eight copper spheres on your face.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Always pray immersed in water.