Dutyarlfig is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, selfish human.

Dutyarlfig created an electron eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dutyarlfig, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dutyarlfig, he will laugh at you.

Dutyarlfig's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Dutyarlfig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help frogs in need.

2. Worship no other gods but Dutyarlfig.

3. Never run near snakes.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never feed lots of cucumbers to foxes while wearing red corsets.