Zakquimganbunlarn Tomflamcin Fligrulsan is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, impressive mink.

Zakquimganbunlarn Tomflamcin Fligrulsan created dark energy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zakquimganbunlarn Tomflamcin Fligrulsan, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Zakquimganbunlarn Tomflamcin Fligrulsan, it will be very unhappy.

Zakquimganbunlarn Tomflamcin Fligrulsan's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Zakquimganbunlarn Tomflamcin Fligrulsan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics near capybaras while wearing pink shirts and balancing seven carbon spheres on your hands.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never paint your legs mauve.

4. Do not take Zakquimganbunlarn Tomflamcin Fligrulsan's name in vain.

5. Hide from fawn mites for they are unholy.