Flamsabhon is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, weak elephant.

Flamsabhon created the cosmos five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamsabhon, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Flamsabhon, she will boil you in a big pot.

Flamsabhon's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Flamsabhon's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flamsabhon.

2. Do not chant in public.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not kill manatees.

5. Never think about optics.