Zanlarpfudtarg is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, unselfish porpoise.

Zanlarpfudtarg created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zanlarpfudtarg, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Zanlarpfudtarg, it will remove you from existence.

Zanlarpfudtarg's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Zanlarpfudtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four ants approach from the west.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never feed garlic to goats while wearing ear rings.

5. Never eat beans.