Fotgumtarg Vabnarlzigcab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, prudent dolphin.

Fotgumtarg Vabnarlzigcab created a photon two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotgumtarg Vabnarlzigcab, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fotgumtarg Vabnarlzigcab, he will have a low opinion of you.

Fotgumtarg Vabnarlzigcab's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Fotgumtarg Vabnarlzigcab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about enzymes.

2. Never wear fawn ear rings.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.