Quatlegfemxenkimvinyarpfud Tapgunrullhot is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, wise swallow.

Quatlegfemxenkimvinyarpfud Tapgunrullhot created bats nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatlegfemxenkimvinyarpfud Tapgunrullhot, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Quatlegfemxenkimvinyarpfud Tapgunrullhot, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Quatlegfemxenkimvinyarpfud Tapgunrullhot's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Quatlegfemxenkimvinyarpfud Tapgunrullhot's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear brown.

2. Do not drink water in white rooms.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Erect a large lead sculpture of Quatlegfemxenkimvinyarpfud Tapgunrullhot on top of all buildings.