Yattlakbess is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, confident goblin.

Yattlakbess created humanity seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattlakbess, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Yattlakbess, it will turn you into a tree.

Yattlakbess' most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Yattlakbess' Holy Commandments

1. Always wear brown.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never talk about tapirs.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not listen to music.