Bitwabpan is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, deceitful cat.

Bitwabpan created the Andromeda Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitwabpan, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bitwabpan, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bitwabpan's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Bitwabpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near voles.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bitwabpan.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never write about gravity.