Zodcussgut is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, witty raccoon.

Zodcussgut created the planet Jupiter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zodcussgut, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Zodcussgut, he will turn you into a slug.

Zodcussgut's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Zodcussgut's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Never feed melons to shrews while wearing hats.

4. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

5. Do not speak about lemons.