Vogpopkam is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, humane camel.

Vogpopkam created energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogpopkam, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vogpopkam, she will turn you into a mole.

Vogpopkam's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Vogpopkam's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five grasshopers approach from the south.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near cats while wearing white rings and balancing six zinc spheres on your feet.

3. Never think about archaea.

4. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity.