Lamtinnan is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, egotistical badger.

Lamtinnan created the Whirlpool Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lamtinnan, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Lamtinnan, she will turn you into a sheep.

Lamtinnan's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Lamtinnan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never think about enzymes.

3. Always obey Lamtinnan's priests.

4. Feed all hungry grasshopers.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.