Xenlaktig is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, selfish camel.

Xenlaktig created time and space four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xenlaktig, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Xenlaktig, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Xenlaktig's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Xenlaktig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never feed coconuts to dogs while wearing turquoise rings.

5. Fast once a month.