Xembepjen is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, caring wyrm.

Xembepjen created an electron five billion years ago.

If you believe in Xembepjen, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Xembepjen, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Xembepjen's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Xembepjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about asteroids.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Xembepjen loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Mice are not to be trusted.