Gad is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, competent snail.

Gad created the planet Venus nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gad, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gad, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Gad's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Gad's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into mauve rooms.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Do not hurt snails.

4. Never think about optics near whales while wearing indigo shoes and balancing three iron spheres on your arms.

5. Never play with disobedient children.