Gunmisvon is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, wise troll.

Gunmisvon created everything that exists nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gunmisvon, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gunmisvon, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Gunmisvon's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Gunmisvon's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

2. Do not dye your hair black.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gunmisvon.

4. Never write about special relativity.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.