Rutgutflab is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, grumpy salamander.

Rutgutflab created dark energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutgutflab, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Rutgutflab, she will be mildly annoyed.

Rutgutflab's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Rutgutflab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare figs while filled with envy.

2. Never stain your neck with turquoise.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not keep seven eagles in a large pit.

5. Do not speak about corn.