Matdibnart is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, able fish.

Matdibnart created the planet Earth three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Matdibnart, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Matdibnart, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Matdibnart's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Matdibnart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never approach forests carrying stone.

3. Always cleanse blood with water.

4. Learn nine new languages a year.

5. Always maintain obedience during fasting days.