Stafbablikfag is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, generous narwhal.

Stafbablikfag created dark matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stafbablikfag, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Stafbablikfag, it will torture you forever.

Stafbablikfag's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Stafbablikfag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study horizontal gene transfer on holy days.

2. Always cleanse oil with water.

3. Never think about dark matter near doves while wearing magenta jumpers and balancing eight zinc spheres on your legs.

4. Stafbablikfag must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never allow mice to witness sacred rites.