Faraftik is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, dishonourable cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Faraftik created humankind three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Faraftik, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Faraftik, it will laugh at you.

Faraftik's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Faraftik's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Faraftik.

2. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

3. Never wear shoes.

4. Never discuss cell theory in public assemblies.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.