Fomfutster is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, duplicitous aardvark.

Fomfutster created dark matter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fomfutster, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fomfutster, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fomfutster's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Fomfutster's Holy Commandments

1. Fomfutster loves shrews, so they must be respected.

2. Fomfutster loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not jump at forests.

5. Never record secrets.