Fatgomcar is a god.

She takes the form of a small, omnipotent hippopotamus.

Fatgomcar created humanity six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fatgomcar, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fatgomcar, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Fatgomcar's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Fatgomcar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never remain standing at dusk.

3. Always help eagles in need.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not chop down trees.