Botgovgom is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, humane narwhal.

Botgovgom created tapeworms four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Botgovgom, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Botgovgom, she will turn you into a plant.

Botgovgom's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Botgovgom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about chlorophyll.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

4. Never eat lemons.

5. Never speak aloud of signs.