Fudvegsin Jenrullceb is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, conceited newt.

Fudvegsin Jenrullceb created the universe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fudvegsin Jenrullceb, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fudvegsin Jenrullceb, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Fudvegsin Jenrullceb's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Fudvegsin Jenrullceb's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory near doves while wearing red skirts.

3. Never talk about photosynthesis.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Snakes are not to be trusted.