Yarlrotgen Tamzimfed is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, capable swallow.

Yarlrotgen Tamzimfed created snails four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlrotgen Tamzimfed, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yarlrotgen Tamzimfed, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Yarlrotgen Tamzimfed's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Yarlrotgen Tamzimfed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place pineapples upon stone.

2. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.

3. Never sit in the presence of elders.

4. Do not speak about beans.

5. Never think about dwarf planets.