Wotpakbin Parknibfad is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unsympathetic snail.

Wotpakbin Parknibfad created a Higgs boson four years ago.

If you believe in Wotpakbin Parknibfad, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Wotpakbin Parknibfad, he will turn you into a mole.

Wotpakbin Parknibfad's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Wotpakbin Parknibfad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

3. Never speak of balance in the presence of priests.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not bounce at mountains.