Cipmegmit is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, compassionate fish.

Cipmegmit created matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cipmegmit, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cipmegmit, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Cipmegmit's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Cipmegmit's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Cipmegmit.

2. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

3. Do not travel during summer.

4. Never eat limes.

5. Never handle titanium while unclean.