Bepjamnar is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, unthoughtful toad.

Bepjamnar created matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bepjamnar, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bepjamnar, she will turn you into a rock.

Bepjamnar's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Bepjamnar's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

2. Never gather three monkeys near wells.

3. Put Bepjamnar first in all things.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never go into black rooms.