Fossakvig is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, stupid jackal.

Fossakvig created dark matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fossakvig, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fossakvig, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Fossakvig's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Fossakvig's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six squirrels approach from the east.

2. Never leap in the presence of turtles.

3. Always act with patience.

4. Do not speak of gravity near sacred fires.

5. Pray only in moonlight.