Ganomtbed is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, proud penguin.

Ganomtbed created dark matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Ganomtbed, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ganomtbed, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Ganomtbed's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Ganomtbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat pineapples on days of mourning.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Run away if four seals approach from the east.

4. Do not wear green clothing.

5. Never talk about nebulae.